Hetare Land
by AzAx
Summary: Feliciano wakes up with his brother in a very strange place, and being curious as he is, he intends to explore it all. But what a headache the exploration shall become. Alice in Wonderland fusion, following the book's story. Various pairings.
1. Dresses and fishing tears

**Hi, so this is my first time writing fanfiction, I hope characters aren't too OOC, I'd like to have your advice. I'm sure _Alice in Wonderland _crossovers have already been done, however I really wanted to write my own version of this crossover. Hope you'll like ^^**

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Hetare Land

_For my dear friend, ironically called Alice._

xXx

It had been a very long day, so little Italy had decided to go to bed early today.

It had been so long since he last slept at home with nii-chan! Feliciano had spent so much time at Germany's house (which the little Italian thought was huge!) that he had seriously missed his big brother. However, Lovino would just not listen, so Feliciano just shrugged it off. His beloved brother would forget it all in the morning!

"Why do you have to come back when you already have that German freak of yours that you like so much?!"

"Germany is nice, but I also like spending time with you, nii-chan! Besides, Germany's house is so big and scary at night, I can't sleep properly!"

And with that, they both settled to bed, Lovino giving a single "hmph." as a reply.

Of course, Feli hadn't mentioned how clinging tightly to a certain German helped him sleep like a log.

The little Italian sank deeper in his covers before falling fast asleep, deep into the meadows of dream...

xXx

"Eeehh? What's this?"

Feliciano looked around him curiously. The first thing that struck him was the fact he was falling. Very, very slowly.

Shelves displayed all round the walls of the tower-shaped hole, surrounding the slowly falling Italian. Or maybe floating would be more accurate, but for now it did not truly matter as Feli's mind was rather on the food displayed on the shelves, which he was looking at hungrily, than what was actually happening.

Eventually, he picked the first thing that came, however throwing it fast away after reading the label:

"Uwaaa!" he whined, "Marmalade is gross! I wish they had pasta!!"

A very loud cracking sound suddenly interrupted the Italian's whimpering.

Ah, the floor must be close enough now. So Feliciano waited to land. He did not know whether the landing would be hard or soft, which is why little Italy hoped he could find out as soon as possible. However this time... he would just not land.

Getting quite impatient, the idea of actually looking down crossed his mind. He nodded promptly as seriously an Italian can, than set about peeking down.

Unfortunately, as he was just starting to do so, he abruptly fell on something that made an awfully loud noise when Feli landed on it. The noise multiplied and strangely sounded like words.

"Ouch, dammit! What did you have to crush on me for, bastard!!?"

xXx

Chapter 1:

Dresses and fishing tears

"Oh? Lovi?" The Italian blinked twice. "What are you doing down here?" He slowly poked his brother on the cheek.

"Wha-!"

Lovino just realized it had been his brother he had earlier insulted. He somehow felt bad about it, though now he had a urge to punch him for asking him such idiotic questions, while still sitting on his back.

"H-how about you?!" he shot back, "What are you doing up there? Get off me!"

The younger Italian swiftly obeyed, strange onomatopoeias floating out of his mouth as he did so.

"Hmph." Romano got up and brushed himself off. Suddenly he posed, realizing his little brother was trying to hold a laugh.

"What is it now?"

Lovino was in a really bad mood, which is nothing new, but most of all he felt horribly lost. The older Italian had no idea where he was, and why, plus seeing his brother didn't really make him feel better.

_If this is all just a dream of very poor taste, I'm afraid Spain can't do anything about it… bastard!_

No, Romano was really not in a good mood.

Feliciano let out a giggle causing the other to feel even more irritated. Understanding his brother's annoyance, Feli decided to tell him what he considered so amusing.

"Well, nii-chan…"

_He would. Just. Not. Stop. Giggling._

"Nii-chan, you're wearing a dress!"

"**WHAT!?**"

That was it. As usual, feeling destabilized by anger, he started stuttering while trying to yell at his brother. Obviously there was something Feli missed, and Lovino was going to make sure he understood his position.

"S-s-shut up! Besides, I don't know if you noticed, but you're wearing one too, and I'm not making a big fuss out of it!!"

"Eeeh?"

After processing his big brother's words, little Italy looked down. It was true, he hadn't realized it earlier, however he was really wearing a blue dress. Romano's was exactly the same, except for the darker shade of blue. This somehow reminded him the years he had spent living in Austria's house. He remembered having to dress in Hungary's old clothes.

Meanwhile, Lovino was contemplating his brother, whom had stayed silent for way longer than he was used to.

_Probably wondering how Potato freak would like the dress. Dammit! Thank God Antonio's not here, I would have to kill him._

"Ve, Lovi."

"Hmm? What?" Lovino eyed the other suspiciously.

"What do we do now?"

Both of them blinked at one another.

"What I mean is…" Feliciano continued, "We probably shouldn't just stand here forever. Maybe we should look around, ne?"

"Whatever you like."

Despite his careless tone, the younger Italian knew his brother was actually interested. He smiled, and with that, they together set about exploring the unknown land.

xXx

"No, no, no, no, **no**! Oh God, no. I'm late! I might as well run fast if I do not want to be beheaded!"

xXx

"You saw **what**?!"

"A bunny! Or a person… both in one!"

Feli continued pointing straight in front of him while his big brother was questioning the other's sanity for one too many times. They both stared at the hallway extending itself in front of them. On both sides were a multitude of doors, of all colors, shapes and sizes. Nevertheless, after many tries, the two brothers had concluded every single one of them was locked.

Several steps later, they found a crooked room dressed in white, its only furniture: a table made of glass. Nicely displayed on top of it was a golden key.

Lovino reached out to take it, however it wasn't on the key his fingers stumbled. Fingers crossed, the Italians stared at each other as if the eyes would decide for their owners who would rightfully take the key. None of them seemed to want to let go.

"I love you, Lovi!"

"Not working."

And with that, Lovino roughly pulled the key out of his brother's hand. Feliciano pouted. If it were Ludwig, he would have undoubtedly won. This was so unfair!

From his point of view, Romano guessed the other's thoughts.

"You're doomed for life with me, learn it already!"

He gave a triumphant smile. This felt so good but happened so rarely. He could almost forget he was wearing a dress! Almost… _Dammit! Why is there always something to piss me off!?_

And of course the world wouldn't let him enjoy the moment. If you could call Feli the world.

"Ve, if you're not going to let me have it, at least do something with it!"

Murder. If only he had the will… and the guts. Nevertheless, he set about trying to open each door. But at his great dismay, the key didn't fit in any of the keyholes. Talk about disappointment. Feliciano who had been closely following his brother like a shadow (Romano would have said like a maggot, but oh, well.) suggested they went around once more. And so they did.

After this double-check, they went back to the crooked room to find a curtain at the end of it. A bizarre small white door was found behind it, and it seemed a perfect fit for the key.

Lovino opened the door, and peeking inside, saw a hallway as small as a rat hole. Kneeling down, he also could see what he imagined a garden.

Both Italians agreed on the fact they would most likely get out of the crooked room, unfortunately the door was so small, one could not even pass his head through it.

Feliciano sadly turned back to the glass table, almost hoping to find another key, looking around expectedly for something new in the room. That was when he found a vile.

Little Italy could read "DRINK ME" on its label, and for no apparent reason, he hastily obeyed. He immediately felt odd.

"**FELICIANO!!**"

"Ve, Lovi, you became huge just like Germany's house!"

"This is no time to say such nonsense!"

Romano panicked seeing his brother so tiny after he had drunk whatever was in that small bottle.

"Mio fratello, you should drink it too! With this size we can easily go through the door!"

"Well, I'd like to, but you drank all of it!"

Feli seemed troubled by that fact, and Lovi seemed infuriated and panicked at the same time.

Northern Italy did not realize he was walking until He tripped on something real hard and smashed his nose on the perfectly cleaned floor. It looked like a mirror.

Wanting to know the source of his fall, he discovered a glass box which contained a cake. The words "EAT ME" crowned its top. At first, Feli was a tad reluctant to even touch it, for it was awfully colourful just like America's Christmas cakes. However, it seemed pointless to just stare in horror at it, so he gathered all courage he could and put as much cake he was able to in his hands and shoved it in his mouth till it was all gone.

Lovino gaped in horror while he could only stare at his dear brother who kept growing and **whining**.

"Uhwaa! Full of chemicals!! I'm going to die~!!!"

"S-s-stop crying, Feli, I'm begging you! We'll never be able to go through the door if you keep on whining. Besides, look at the bright side: you've stopped growing!"

Despite Southern Italy's efforts to cheer up his little brother, the other remained unconvinced.

How was he supposed to hug Ludwig if he now was even taller than Russia? He wasn't even sure he could pass the door of his house, and- **OH MY GOD**, he could not see his feet! And if it wasn't enough, he was sure he would die of chemicals overdose. The cake had been a flashing pink and blue, it probably also glowed in the dark.

xXx

"Oh my, oh dear! What kind of monstrous creature is able to make so much noise?! Ah, I don't have time to check, I'm awfully late!"

xXx

The sound of hurried footsteps echoed on the crooked walls, which made Italy's crying immediately cease, along with his brother's severe repressing. Soon enough passed by a rabbit-anthro, white paws with brown hair and emerald eyes shining with anxiety, mumbling about a furious Duchess. He absently looked up at Feliciano and Lovino without noticing them, but soon jumped and sped up in realization before any of the Italians could say a thing.

The sound of his footsteps drowned in oblivion, and silence remained until Romano finally broke it:

"Wait, don't we know that guy from somewhere?"

"He looks like Lithuania, but if I recall correctly, Toris doesn't have bunny ears... or bunny paws... or a fluffy white bunny tail for that matter. I may be wrong though!"

"**Basta**!" Lovi said. This was getting on his nerves.

Ah, that clearly meant Lovino would not accept any interaction for a moment. Waiting for his older brother to calm down, little Italy looked around. What an odd mess! His previous tears had turned in a giant pond now covering the centre of the room. While his eyes wandered, his gaze fell on something he assumed the rabbit-Toris had dropped. He swiftly picked up the large fan and the white pair of kid-gloves, and since the room was rather hot (or was it the dress?) he decided to fan himself while mumbling incoherent things to himself.

He ended up singing in his boredom, not really unlike the last man sitting on the world's ground.

_"Che confusione, sarà perche ti amo,_

_è un'emozione, che cresce piano piano,_

_stringimi forte, e stammi più vicino,_

_se ci sto bene, sarà perche ti amo..."_

Before he could start the second part of the song, Feliciano realized he had put on one of the white kid-gloves. Which could only mean two things: either the gloves had considerably loosened or Feli was shrinking.

The second was most likely since he soon understood he was still shrinking. Letting go of the fan in his surprise, his height stabilized, furthermore the Italian came to the conclusion that the object in question had made him shrink and that if he hadn't stopped fanning himself he might have disappeared.

"Ne, ne, Lovi!"

"Not now, Feli, I've had enough."

"Si, ho capitto, ma ascoltarmi Lovinito!"

Romano turned around first of all to tell his brother that he was **not** little, no matter how big the other had grew, and secondly Feliciano only talked to him in Italian when he really wanted to be heard by the other.

Imagine how surprised he was when he discovered that indeed, Northern Italy was way shorter than him. Then suddenly, he felt he was getting shorter too.

"Feli, what the heck are you doing with that fan?!"

"Eh, making you shorter of course!" Little Italy said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

And what if it were true? Lovino let himself being fanned, and therefore shrunk, till he was but the same size than his brother. Feliciano smile sheepishly at the other.

"Now, isn't that all better, Lovi?"

"Not, it is not!"

Feli blinked in confusion, wondering what he had done wrong this time. Soon enough he realized the door had been closed and that it was impossible for the two of them to reach the golden key, for the table was too tall, and its legs to slippery.

Both Italians went, hoping to find a solution to the present issue, when suddenly Romano slipped and took down his brother in his fall. The fall in question finished in the salty water where none of them could set foot.

"Che macello!"

"Shut up, it's your fault!"

"What?! Why?"

Feliciano felt like crying as much as Lovino wanted to punch him.

"This water is salty! We landed in your frigging sea of tears, bastard!!"

Northern Italy suddenly felt quite bad about the fact he had cried so much earlier. He was about to apologize, however something came and disturbed his current trail of thoughts.

"Mouse?"

This day felt curiouser and curiouser... no wait, that wasn't it.

Feliciano started swimming towards the strange apparition, which strangely looked like, on the one hand a giant Mouse, and on the other like Austria. Unfortunately, whatever it was, Austri-mouse was horribly fast, and having Lovino gripping tight at his dress's bow so he didn't have to swim himself didn't really help.

_How much tomatoes has he been eating?! H-heavy..._

"Kick, kick, kick, kick, splash, splash, splash, splash~!"

"Feliciano, the one you're splashing is me! My face is wetter than the rest of my body underwater!"

"Will you two please be quiet, attempting to ignore you properly is becoming utterly impossible!"

The Italians turned to see the very irritated Austrian anthro-mouse that had interfered in their conversation. Actually both of them were quite happy to have company in this cerebral-breaker world. However, Lovi really hoped he didn't have to talk to that person at all, he was far from liking Roderich.

"Austria, I'm so happy to see you~! Ne, ne, why do you have mouse ears? And a mouse tail? Why are you in the water too? Oh no, wait I get it! You wanted to play the piano in the sea again, ve? I'm so sorry to disappoint you but this isn't the sea, I actually cried when I was two meters tall, and it made this puddle, but- Please don't be mad, it was an accident!"

Lovino and Roderich stared in annoyance at the blabbering Feliciano, but somehow managed to wait patiently for him to stop talking. Romano did not know the reason the Austrian had kept silent, not used to not shut the other himself he however felt it was the right thing to do, somehow...

Then Feli finally marked a significant pose at the end of one sentence, the kind of pose that indicates one that he is allowed to speak. Less than a second later, Lovino watched Roderich significantly opening his mouth, which usually meant one was about to talk and the rest should listen and keep quiet. It was in actuality what it meant, nevertheless, the older Italian felt disappointed that something so normal happened. _Oh, he's just talking._

"I just happened to have been caught by a flock of fishing tears. I do not recall anything essential besides that fact that might answer you questions, which are meaningless anyway."

"Eh? Fishing tears?"

"Yes, that's what I said. Humans catch fish with nets. Tears catch humans with themselves."

"R-Roderich, I'm not sure I understand..."

"It doesn't matter. Now come, I'm quite sure you would not likely appreciate drowning in your own tears."

None of the Italians were certain to understand a single word of Austria's odd speech, though this fact fairly cheered Lovino up.

Who the younger Italian brother had decided to be an "Austri-mouse" was now followed by the other nations in dresses, tears with will clinging to the fabric, blue upon blue, shining and melting.

And there, they slip those precious dears!

Crying themselves off to the ground.

Instantly forgotten, the Italians go,

Joining all others who were fished before.

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**Voilà. I intend to end all chapters with a little text like this one, but I might do rimes in the next one.**

**I've always wondered why people seem to freak out about the American cakes. I think they're delicious, especially when the frosting is blue. But I guess that's because I'm American (Eh, I'm mostly French though...)  
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**The song Feliciano starts singing is _Sara perche ti amo_ by Ricchi E Poveri (I learned that song in Italian class last year. I personally think it is funnier to sing than to listen to.)**

**I tried respecting the story while adding a bit of my own ideas, I hope it looks nice. Also I follow the pattern of the book.  
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**I might soon post fanart I drew for this fanfic on my deviant. I'll post the link on my profile.**

**Hope you enjoyed. Next chapter is already in progress.  
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	2. Mots, maux Words, hurts

**I'm afraid I rushed a bit this chapter, I hope you'll like it.**

**Okay, so to explain the title: Mots and maux are French words meaning words and hurts. It's more or less a French pun since the two words are said the exact same way. I remember wanting to change the title at some point, but a friend of mine said it was good, so I kept it. In this chapter, so many things seem to happen for the second time that the repetition in the title seemed perfect, too.**

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Chapter 2:

Mots, maux; Words, hurts

What an odd assembly was found at the edge of the pound, and as the two Italian brothers arrived, what a ruckus they were making. All wet and sad, angry and mad, they stared at Roderich as he silenced them and ordered them to sit round of him. As everyone was trying to do so, they still made an awful load of noise.

Feliciano started chatting with a few of the creatures he encountered, while Lovino remained silent, analyzing the birds, crabs, and other irritated animals who had fell in the net of Feli's fishing tears with his golden-brown eyes. All of them had the distinct signs of a nation they belonged to, but were obviously mere inhabitants as he did not spot any nation besides the Austrian. He watched his brother having a lively conversation with a semi-human strange looking bird with an ahoge indicating he was Canadian. It seemed he had the unfortunate habit of saying his thoughts out loud.

"Seriously, I wish he would stop to take me for a fool, I'm not an idiot! But what could I say..."

"Eeh~?"

"H-huh?! I was talking out loud?!"

After that last sentence he hastily ran to the other side of the forming circle.

When all of it was done, the main subject was to find a way to dry them all. In the end it was Austria who declared with conviction:

"All of you, sit down and be quiet! I shall dry you up in no time!"

Every single creature immediately obeyed and sat down in circle, the "Austri-mouse" in the middle of all. Feliciano whispered something in Lovino's ear, something about catching a cold, when Roderich shot him a tense glare. Then silence invaded the moment.

The Austrian cleared his throat to seem important, before talking once more.

"This, listen well, is the driest thing existing under my knowledge. Quiet down, if you please, I shall begin: _On 18 February, 1853, Franz Joseph I survived an assassination attempt by Hungarian nationalist. She immediately struck the emperor from behind with a frying pan straight at the neck. Franz Joseph almost always wore a uniform, which had a high collar that almost completely enclosed the neck. It so happened_-"

"Excuse me," said a Spanish duck, "what is that so called "it"?"

"What is "it"? You mean you have no knowledge of what "it" is?"

"I know what "it" is, when I found "it" myself..."

Just as Roderich was about to sharply reply, a dodo cut in the conversation.

"That is not the blasted point! On the one hand, we may not understand, but on the other hand," the semi-dodo turned to the Italians, "do you feel any drier?"

Feli swiftly stood up as a soldier and declared:

"As a proper Italian, I state that we, representing the Italian people, are wetter than ever!"

"In that case," Lovino noted the dodo must've been British, "I propose we adjourn the reunion to an other day and proceed to a Caucus-race."

"Ve~, what's that?"

"To cut a long story short, the easiest way to understand what a Caucus-race is, well, to organize one."

Romano took notice of the way he proceeded. The anthro-dodo drew a circle-like race-course, and soon all set about taking place wherever seemed adequate. The brothers took place close to one another, nearby Roderich who had not uttered a word since the reunion incident.

None claimed anything started, each ran and jogged as pleased and would have answered anything by "Whoever, whenever, whatever". After quite a full half of an hour, the dodo shouted the race was now over, and all the while creatures were stopping, indeed being once again dry, they suddenly asked in chorus for prizes. The dodo took a thoughtful expression, seeming lost in some kind of deep meditation. He then took an extremely exaggerated and comical air indicating he found the solution to every eventual problem.

"We all won, therefore must all receive prizes."

"But who shall distribute the prizes?"

"Well her, of course!"

At the very moment, Lovino noticed an uncomfortable amount of eyes staring at him.

**_Her?!_**

"Vaffanculo! I'm a male, you fucking bastard!!"

"Fine, fine, no need to be all bloody embarrassed about it."

The thick-eyebrowed dodo shrugged, and whilst Romano was indeed as red as his beloved tomatoes, it was not of the embarrassment the bird had assumed due to the dress, but of pure and simple rage burning the Italian cheeks. Meanwhile, the crowd began insisting on the fact they wanted their prizes.

"Prizes? PRIZES?! How about your own eyes out of your head, is that fancy enough for you, bastards?!"

Just when Lovino started to jump towards the dodo to act up to the words he had just spat, Feliciano had jumped on him to stop him by effectively grabbing his arm just before he could tore apart the bird who had jumped in surprise, with a few sprinkles of fear on top of it. A beautiful cupcake it would've been if it were true.

Feli laughed awkwardly.

"It's fine nii-chan, I'll give them, I'll give them!"

Or maybe nervously would have been more correct. However, Feliciano had for long took the responsibility of taking care of his brother's tantrums, which meant in other words, protecting other people from his furious nii-chan as long as he was sure he wasn't the one causing his anger, implicating he was safe. Others were far from safe though, little Italy knew deep inside that even if they were considered as weak, they could inflict physical damage with their bare hands if they wanted to... just not to scary people like Ivan, Ludwig, Ivan, Natalia, and especially Ivan. Unless one had a urge to be locked up somewhere in Russia with a really sore bum and a few concussions.

The younger Italian reached in the pocket of his apron with his free hand, still holding tightly his brother's, searching for anything that might make an acceptable enough prize for the eager animals. The wandering fingers stumbled on an object they immediately picked out to let their owner indentify their discovery. What a surprise it was for the eyes.

_Gelato in cup? _This was the first time he'd ever seen any. He shoved his hand in the pocket once again to discern there were actually plenty of them, and of course it seemed only natural to all that the exact number of gelati in cup for each fit in such a ridiculously small pocket. One had to admit it was indeed practical.

_My brother is friggin' Mary Poppins_ was Lovino's first thought. Then again, he merely took his own cup wondering what would be its flavor. _Hm? Tiramisu gelato... this isn't half bad. _

"But this little fellow needs a prize too" said the Dodo, pointing at little Italy, guessing that the way he called the other could be blameless whether for male or female as he wasn't sure what this one was.

Feli reached in his pocket once more and found a small tomato pin. The big bird ceased it to give it back to Feliciano in an extremely serious way, as it mattered. Of course the Italian was full of joy receiving this unexpected present, as absurd the situation could be.

When all commotion was put to an end, and the gelati cups had been finished up, all sat in circle for the second time and requested Roderich to relate a story. Having not more to do wherever else, the brothers decided it was possible it might be interesting. But then the story turned incredibly confusing and boring, at the point the words the Austrian mouse pronounced seemed to materialize out of his mouth to form odd patterns. Suddenly, Feli got up.

"Ne, ne, Austri-mouse, do you know your words are forming a mouse tail?"

"That's quite normal, Italy, this is a mouse tale. And I would appreciate you not interrupting me while I narrate it."

"Woaw! It's even forming a knot!"

"How many times do I have to ask you to keep quiet? It's the knot of the tale, you ignorant!"

"Would you stop talking all the time and carry on?" asked an irritated crab.

And soon enough followed a horrible ruckus where it seemed one ought to talk louder than anyone to actually have a right to speak. At the point the diverse bird screams were not bearable anymore, the two Italians ran away as fast as possible – which was quite fast, anyone would have admitted it – by fear the argument might turn to a battle of beaks, claws and clamps.

xXx

He was running quite fast indeed, but quite fast didn't seem enough. As fast as he went it never seemed enough. He thought he must be tremendously clumsy to be so repeatedly late in a timeless world. But timeless as ever, if Her Majesty asked for it, he would constantly run in order to not be late. Sometimes he really wondered if fear was the only reason for his flawless obedience. Perhaps he really did want to see her Majesty happy... however, it was hard to understand, even for him.

_Perhaps just this once... I can believe that it is what I want._

Smiling tiredly, he bounced and ran faster, the wind blowing in his hair softly making him feel almost happy. Once again, perhaps he was, deep down, but he was never really certain of anything.

xXx

Finally far away. For the second time of their peculiar journey, the Italians stopped whichever conversation they might have had to listen carefully to the footsteps they could hear in the distance. Both of them could not help but feel a little worried, but only waited in silence for the steps to get closer. And there came the same rabbit-anthro they had seen earlier. There was no mistaking it, it really was Lithuania, which was somehow comforting, since it was well-known Toris must've been the most safe nation to be next too. Or so it seemed, however going to that matter, nations would long be gone if they were too weak, so one could consider any of them could be more or less dangerous if it were time demanding it.

Instantly noticing the two, Lithuania hopped towards them.

"You two, please, I call for your help this instant! Now, go over there and go fast, to fetch a pair of gloves and a fan, than come as fast as you went for I really need them."

And with those words he hopped off fast enough. As much as it seemed like a cry for help, Toris had seemed quite irritated while pronouncing the words, so the Italians did not risk to go against his request: they hastily went to the direction the Lithuanian rabbit had pointed without a statement.

They soon arrived in front of a rather lovely little house with the name _W.R. Toris Lorinaitis_ cautiously painted in black on a white mailbox. Entering the house without knocking, they went up the stairs to indeed find a big fan and three pairs of kid-gloves in a room. Lovino ceased the fan as well as a pair of kid-gloves and set about going out of the room when Feliciano stopped following his brother and stared at a vile on a shelve. Though it did not have a label with the words DRINK ME on it, Feli was too curious to resist opening the vile and drinking its content, knowing something interesting might happen if he did so. Unfortunately he immediately started growing again, and as he had no time to finish but the half of the bottle before his head touched the ceiling. And as if it was not enough, he continued growing under his brother's horrified gaze. Soon he had to put his arm through the window and his foot in the chimney. This was tremendously uncomfortable, and little Italy felt guilty he had drank so much.

"Feli, **you are fucking crushing me**!"

"Ve? Nii-chan, I completely forgot you were there too!"

"If you weren't that big right now, I would fucking punch you, bastard!"

The older Italian knew right on there was no regretting insulting anyone in this position. He even tried to hit his little brother's elbow, which he was under, but the other didn't seem to notice at all. After what seemed an eternity, Toris' voice was suddenly heard. It betrayed as much nervousness than exasperation.

"Where are those two? I asked them to do fast! This just cannot be happening!"

Feliciano was somewhat afraid, and hoped the rabbit would not be able to go upstairs, which would have been utterly impossible in any case: his was so big he was completely blocking the way. Indeed, he tried opening the door in vain, and by the steps Feli heard, he was now going near the window. Suddenly, a very high-pitched scream filled the air, and little Italy had concluded his arm through the window was kind of obvious, though he had hoped no one would notice. He then overheard a conversation he guessed was between the Baltic brothers.

"E-Eduard, Come here!"

"Hm? What is it?"

"In the window? What is **that**?"

"It sure looks like an arm to me."

"An arm? That's not possible, have you ever seen an arm this large? It fills the whole window!"

"For sure, but it still horribly looks like an arm."

"Well, please do us all a favor, take it out!"

There was then a long silence, and Feliciano wondered what they were going to do next. A few minutes later, whispers from many persons filled the air.

"We need another latter -- Who has the other one? -- Ah, Raivis, bring the other latter over here! -- Put those over there, please. -- No, we have to attach them altogether, like this. -- I say it is okay like this, no need to do that. -- Hey, Raivis, take this rope for a moment, will you? -- Will the roof bear it all? -- Be careful, there's a loose slate. -- It's going to fall, mind your heads! (The Italian heard a loud crashing sound) -- Whose fault is that? -- I fancy it was Raivis. -- Who'll go down the chimney then? -- No way, I shall not! -- In that case I shan't either. – Well let's get Raivis do it! Hey, Raivis, we need you to go down the chimney!"

Feliciano was a bit worried by what he had just learned.

"Ve, Lovi, I think they're sending someone down the chimney."

"Well _merda_, kick him out, we don't have space for anymore visitors."

And so, he decided he shall do so. He waited to here scratch noises from a small animal in the chimney above him. _I'm sorry Raivis_ was his very thought when he swiftly kicked in the chimney to get the other out. The same chorus of voices started talking again.

"Ah, there's Raivis. -- Oh my, quick you others, catch him by the hedge! -- Hold up his head, now. -- Someone bring water! -- Don't choke him, idiot! -- Say, what happened, are you okay?"

A extremely feeble voice started to talk, and Feliciano did recognize the voice as being Latvia's.

"I-I don't know... all I remember is something kicking me out and then I flew like a missile."

"You sure did!" the others instantly replied.

"I'm afraid we will have to burn down the house." Said Toris.

"N-n-n-no, if you do that I'll tell Ludwig and he'll be very angry!"

There was a long pause as the pack of creatures processed the whining. Rumbling and noise began for the second time at least, thus the Italian expected his threat had worked and they were all going away. If he were them, he would have done the exact same thing, Germany could be very scary.

However he realized they were still there as pebbles were now thrown at him, some even hitting his face.

"Uhwaa!~ Stop it! Stop it! It hurts!"

Another dead silence. Then suddenly he heard his brother - which he had completely forgot about, for the second time.

"Hey, Feli, look at that!"

Looking down, little Italy saw the pebbles gathering and forming little by little small cupcakes. Perhaps if he ate one he would shrink again. And so he did, and so it worked. When he was small enough to get through the door, he rushed outside, Lovino tightly clutching to his arm - a tad to tightly, though the other guessed it was by revenge - and running through the yard they saw the crowd of small animals, with in the middle of them Raivis, seeming an anthro-lizard. All of them noticed the two and started running after them, but fortunately they made it to a small wood where they hid until the mob was out of sight.

Panting slightly, they decided to find a way to both grow, for they had had enough of being so short or growing in the worst places. Northern Italy explained the fact that eating or drinking whatever asked to or seemed to helped changing sizes. But as they set about finding anything worth eating or drinking their efforts seemed vain.

And so it seemed, and so it was,

Looking under mushrooms just as

The thought of looking on top seemed alluring,

Suddenly meeting a blue caterpillar smoking,

Why this person seems familiar, is it not?

But only his hookah seems to him worth the thought,

Ask him a question to be turned down,

While smoking drawings fill the sound.

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**And voilà. Hope you liked it.**

**Next chapter will be so fun to write, it is my favorite part. Also, it should be up a bit faster this time, since I'll soon be on vacations. Hopefuly.**

**Did you know? I follow the story from a French version of the book, so sometimes I have to do research to be able to translate some words (the French translation is sometimes a bit off compared to the original text. It's odd.) Puns are just not the same thing *sigh***

**Also, if they are requests for the cast, I can consider it. But only if it seems fair to me, so please don't be vexed if I don't follow you proposition.  
**


	3. Smoking grin for Sleepy information

**I'm very sorry I was late for this chapter, for those who hadn't read it on my profile, I had to go to my great-grandmother's funeral because she died last week. Nevertheless, I wouldn't've stopped writing for that, but I hope I didn't rush certain parts. Hope you'll enjoy it :)  
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Chapter 3:

Smoking grin for Sleepy information

"Ah! Is that you Heracles?"

The anthro-caterpillar merely stared lazily at the Italians one after the other. Eventually, he started talking in a very sleepy voice.

"That... is a statement."

With that he started smoking his hookah once more. It did not seem very encouraging to start a conversation from Lovino's point of view, but Feliciano seemed to be oblivious to Greece's lack of repartee.

"Ve, since when do you smoke?"

Heracles blew a few butterfly-shaped smoke. It was undeniably beautiful. The smoke he blew out from the hookah swirled and changed shapes or faces, colors or tastes.

"This... was a present from Sadiq."

He paused to take a puff of the water-pipe.

"I... am using reverse psychology... by giving me this present, Sadiq... expects I shall throw it away, for I dislike him... however I use it to bother him."

Silence reached over sound once more. Still not seeming bothered by whatever, little Italy gazed at Heracles, eyes shining. There was something about the situation and the atmosphere around him that seemed surreal, even for this location. However Lovi had lost interest in Greece, and since no conversation was being constructed, he set about leaving, Feliciano or not, the other would follow him soon enough - none of them actually wanted to be left alone in this mess-of-a-world.

He succeeded in taking 5 steps before anything happened. New record.

"Wait." Said the Greek.

Lovino stopped and came back to his previous post near Feli expectedly. There was a long pause.

"What?" Romano was getting quite impatient.

The smoke that had been blown was dancing around Greece as a long forgotten tale playing itself for young eyes.

"I... have something to tell you two."

He opened his mouth as if about to state something, but quickly closed it to take another puff of the hookah. Seeing the older Italian's irritation, he finally said:

"Mind your temper."

It did not quite make things better. Nevertheless, the Greek caterpillar eventually put the water-pipe aside and leaned very slowly over the two brothers.

"What is it that you wish for?"

"I, I mean we, would most likely wish to grow, Heracles-san." Northern Italy had added the honorific suffix remembering that was what Japan usually did when talking to the Greek.

"Why is that?"

"Well, being three inches tall is a tad uncomfortable, you see."

"Not really, no... however, it is what you truly wish for... thus..."

Heracles did not finish his sentence and just nodded. He then smiled very slightly.

"A riddle... I will help you if you answer this riddle correctly. My mother had to find the solution herself a long time ago. "What walks on four feet in the morning, two in the afternoon and three at night?""

Little Italy looked horribly puzzled as he considered the riddle. After a few seconds, Lovino spoke up.

"Man. This answer is Man."

"That... is correct."

Greece nodded thoughtfully, then got off the giant mushroom.

"One side is meant to make you grow... One side is meant to make you shrink..."

And before Feliciano could ask, he swiftly added:

"...Mushroom."

He then disappeared in oblivion, living smoke dying slowly, colors turning to a dull grey, falling leisurely to the floor. Pushing smoke from his path, Lovi grabbed the two presumed sides of the mushroom to tear out a piece of each.

"Now then, which is which? Feli? You've been doing this from the very beginning, do you mind tasting these?"

Romano did not feel one bit bad about using his own brother as a guinea pig.

"Ve~, it's okay."

The younger Italian grasped one of the pieces of mushroom to take to his mouth. As he nibbled it he felt a sudden jolt of pain in his chin : it was now stuck to his feet. He quickly pleaded his brother to hand him the other piece, and so did the other. Feli swallowed what he could of the mushroom, and then his chin was free. Although, something did seem a tad odd.

"Ne, ne, Lovi! I grew! Hey- Lovi?! Where are you?!"

It was no good him trying to see round him, his view was obstructed by tree tops. Something else struck in pretty fast. _Where are my feet? Again._ This was definitely troublesome.

xXx

From his stand point, Lovino was quite bothered. His brother's neck was as long as ever with the rest of his body still standing next to him. That… was truly peculiar to look at. Disturbing even. He had thought of giving a kick in Feli's knee, since it was unlikely he would be caught. That's when he heard a really loud scream and saw his brother's arms beating the air. He swore he had not touched him.

xXx

Feliciano understood little by little the present situation. The issue was all he could see were tree tops and his all-too-long neck faintly waving underneath him. He found out fast enough that he was able to bend it in any direction he desired in the absence of being able to bring the rest of his body up. Suddenly something hastily flown at his face, and Feli tried to push whatever it was with his head. When the thing had eventually moved back, the Italian instantly recognized Pierre. What was France's pigeon doing here? Although not much seemed rational in this world, Feliciano felt mystified when the large pigeon started shouting at him in French.

"_Hors d'ici, Serpent__!_"

"A-ah! You can talk Pierre?!"

"No!"

"B-b-but..."

No, Feli had no idea what to say to that. The argument was so sharply displayed one would want to believe it. No, no, no, no, no, Pierre had just **said** he could not talk, so it must be true.

"Fine! You can't talk, but I'm not a serpent!"

"I said you are, so it must be true! I'm always right you know? Now then, _merde_, hit the road, serpent!" The bird had flown back to Feliciano's face at the last sentence to beat him with his wings.

"I'm not! I'm no~t!" The Italian whined.

He tried moving his arms, but it was no use, they would not come up this high to help him. That's when he could hear his brother from far below.

"Hey, Feli! Can you even hear me?! _Merda_. What's going on up there?!"

"Uhwaa, nii-chan, help me! Pierre is here and thinks I'm a serpent and tries to scratch off my face with his wings!"

"There's no helping it, Feli, that bastard of a pigeon must be Parisian! Now if you don't want it all off, you better get your empty head down here, 'cause I am not moving!"

Somehow, his brother's words encouraged little Italy. It might seem rough from an outsider's point of view, but for him who considered knowing in some way how Lovino functioned, he accepted the words as no one could hear them. Of course, these words would seem way nicer than what Feli found in them for a certain Spaniard (but you'd never know how he could hear such different things). Despite the infuriated bird, he tried to bend his neck further down, till he got close enough to the rest of his body, though having an entangled neck in the trees and a pigeon beating his face.

"Fucking pigeon!" Lovi shouted as he threw a rock he had earlier picked at the bird.

Pierre went away fast enough with a shriek, flying away to his nest muttering French cusses. When he was completely out of sight, the brothers proceeded finding a solution for the umpteenth time. Northern Italy took a piece of mushroom in each hand, noting with his brother which was which, and started nibbling them one after the other, taking various sizes, until he was able to come back to his initial size. They proceeded in the same way for Romano, having a bit more knowledge in the question at that point. Satisfied with this, they again set about going off, Lovino suggesting they tried to find the garden they had earlier seen through the small door behind the curtain. But, oh my - that seemed such a long time since they had been even near to that place.

Arriving to a clearing during their walk, the brothers stumbled upon a small house about four feet high. It was decided they would get near it after resizing themselves to nine inches tall to not cause too much trouble.

"Ve, I have a question."

"What is it?"

"Why are we making ourselves small again? Are people afraid of giants?"

"…_silenzio_, Feli."

The Italians started to walk over the house, when they stopped. A footman in livery came unexpectedly out of the woods, a huge letter in his right hand as he knocked on the door. It was stated silently that he looked like a fish. The door was opened by another footman in livery, resembling a frog. Lovino could hear his brother chuckle as they interacted, especially when they both bowed very low, and the curls of their powdered hair entangled in one another. When the door was closed and the other odd footman in livery gone, Lovi finally allowed himself to talk. He shot his little brother a dirty look.

"Did you just have to giggle like a girl when fish-head handed the letter to frog-head? I couldn't hear a word they were saying. And I don't guess you heard it either."

"Ve~ that's easy! They said the letter was an invitation from the Queen for the Duchess to play crocket." Feliciano said simply.

Lovi blinked. _Oh seriously._

And so they went over to the house. They realized that the footman in livery that had opened the door had actually not got back inside and was now sitting in front of it, his big round eyes staring idly at the sky. Feli looked up too, just in case there truly was something interesting above them. _…It's blue._

As Romano knocked on the door, the sitting other talked, not taking his eyes off the sky.

"You might think it is very clever to knock on the door, just as you are doing. One would think it is the most logical thing to do. But this once, you are wrong, and there are two reasons for that: if I were on the other side of the door, I would open, but this attempt must fail for I am not on the other side of the door. As you can see, we are on the same side of the door. Of course correct me if I'm wrong, which you shan't do, for I am not. The second reason to my statement is that too much noise is made inside. Therefore, your inconsequential knock shan't be heard."

One had to admit, the points were taken, and even from the outside, the Italians could here the ruckus they were doing inside. But that did not matter to Lovino.

"How do we get in then?"

"In my case, the wiser would be to sit here till to-morrow."

"How do we get in?"

A loud noise indicated something had crashed on the door.

"…or perhaps the day after that."

"**How do we get in?**"

The footman in livery looked up at the older Italian.

"Must you go in at all?"

Lovino opened his mouth several times to answer, but was at loss for words. At this, the footman in livery nodded and set about staring at the cloudless sky once more.

"Ne, ne~" Romano heard his brother whispering at him. He turned round to see the matter.

"It's open." The other whispered while showing the door he had half-opened.

And so they entered without minding the other anymore.

xXx

He purred. Hmmm... Yes, he had indeed guessed things would process that way. He did not know how, but surely it was because he was just awesome like that. He stretched. **_This_**_ shall be a promising show. Just awesome._

xXx

When the first impression sunk in, it simply seemed like an atrocious nightmare. It was truly horrifying. Then, opinions split.

Feliciano was quite puzzled and his emotions were mixed between fright, embarrassment, astonishment and actual like. He blushed furiously and stuttered incoherent onomatopoeias, suddenly not knowing what to do with his hands. Lovino was a good deal shocked at first by the sight, but then a smile split his face in half. It seemed it would crack his face in two and that the upper half could fall off at any moment. He also started to laugh hysterically pointing in the direction of the object of his hilarity.

"L-Lovi, it's not funny, stop laughing!!"

Little Italy tried to reprimand his brother with not much success. He himself was at loss for a reaction. He was half whining, half screaming. Lovino was too cracked up to stop.

"L-L-L-L-Ludwig, w-w-w-what happened?!"

Germany glared at the brothers one after the other, though not in the same way. He blushed imperceptibly as well, was it more at the sight of Feli wearing a dress than having his troublesome older brother making fun of him. He was sitting on a rocking chair, dressed quite oddly, a baby in his arms. Hungary was at the stove of the kitchen in the corner of the one-room house, smokes of pepper flying from a meal she was cooking. Eyes stumbled without truly noticing on a grinning anthro-cat who said nothing, just watched as if enjoying a good show. Now, who it was, one couldn't tell yet for not noticing it while seeing it.

Soon, the pepper smoke invaded the room in an oppressive way, as a bit of the grey steam had got out when the door had been earlier opened. All of them sneezed or coughed, except for Elizaveta, adding as much pepper she could to the meal. She completely ignored everyone in the room. After a good sneeze, and having the baby crying, Ludwig spoke up for the first time.

"I'm not sure. This place is very strange. I'm… wearing a dress. This is very humiliating." He glanced down, looking fairly disgusted. "I won't be able to endure much longer…"

"Don't worry Ludwig, that dress looks really cute on you!" The German glared at Feli. "I-I meant it in a good way, I sw- Ah~! Is that a baby?? Where did you get it, it's cute!! Buon giorno bambino~"

The younger Italian skipped next to Ludwig to look at the baby with delight. The poor thing was crying so much. From his stand point, Lovino was coughing pepper, sure a good load of it had somewhat stayed still in his lungs. His triumph moments sure were short and rare. He gazed at Potato-freak and his stupid little brother. _This looks like a fucking family picture with that whining kid._

"It won't stop crying. I don't know what to do." Germany sighed heavily.

"Hmm, have you tried singing a song?"

"Singing… I don't see how…"

"Trust me, he'll love it! And you have a very nice voice, Ludwig~! Very deep and manly."

Ludwig did not know how to take what Northern Italy had said, but considered his advice. There was a song he had heard, Prussia had sung it to him once when he had been sick. But that was a long time ago. Still he considered. Children seemed to love that song, and as he was singing, he could remember how he had himself really liked the song.

_Alle Vögel sind schon da, alle Vögel, alle._

_Welch ein Singen, Musiziern, Pfeifen, Zwitschern, Tiriliern!_

_Frühling will nun einmarschier'n, kommt mit Sang und Schalle._

_Wie sie alle lustig sind, flink und froh sich regen!_

_Amsel, Drossel, Fink und Star und die ganze Vogelschar_

_wünschen dir ein frohes Jahr, lauter Heil und Segen._

_Was sie uns verkünden nun, nehmen wir zu Herzen:_

_Wir auch wollen lustig sein, lustig wie die Vögelein,_

_hier und dort, feldaus, feldein, singen, springen, scherzen._

They had not became aware of the movement at the moment it had occurred, however, Elizaveta had brusquely turned around when little Italy got very close to Germany. Her eyes shined evilly, however at the instant she shifted as if searching for a camera, her face fell. Perhaps for the reason she had none. She grabbed whatever kitchen utensils she could find, and started throwing them randomly in the room, hitting the people around her.

"Elizaveta, s-s-stop it!"

"What is **wrong** with her?!"

As he was whimpering, Feliciano could have sworn he had heard a whisper, the cat perhaps, but he saw nobody in the room anymore at the spot he might have been. Meanwhile, Ludwig turned to Feli and shove the baby in his arms.

"Ludwig?" The Italian looked up at the other, his eyes questioning him.

"Just take that and _raus_! I'll take care of her, and I don't want you to be hurt."

He leaned over and kissed Feliciano on the forehead.

"Don't worry, I'm sure we'll meet again in this madness." he whispered.

"It's a promise?"

"Of course. Now _raus_."

And so he did, the baby in his arms, closely followed by Lovino, grabbing his apron's ribbon while trying to dodge the kitchen utensils. Making it easily through the door, they passed as simply the clearing into the woods. As this was done, Feliciano threw the baby in Lovi's arms.

"What the…?!"

"I'm so sorry Lovi, but I don't like babies! I just didn't want Ludwig to know!"

"You- What?"

"They're scary…"

Romano just sighed heavily, guessing it could not be helped. He tried to hold the baby correctly, but it was quite difficult, as it stretched helplessly. He honestly tried, but got rapidly tired of it and just grabbed whatever he could to not make it fall. Then followed a very awkward silence where Lovino stared at the baby, and the baby stared back at Lovino. The Italian glanced quickly at his brother for a quick moment, making sure he was not doing anything too stupid and cursing him with a deadly glare. Gazing back to the baby, he hastily let go of his leg, realizing the thing had had the nerve to turn into a pig. He ran behind his brother without a word, letting the animal behind. No regrets were to be expected, that was a certitude. He then walked a few thirty steps before anything actually happened. Times were getting better, it seemed.

"Kesesesesesesesese."

That sound? Feliciano had already heard it. He looked up and saw Gilbert perched on a branch. So he was the anthro-cat.

"Looking quite disappointed, eh, Italy-chan!" He took a dramatic pose. "Ah, my awesomeness is too much to manage, is that it?"

"Well…"

"No need to say, I'm so awesome, I know what you're thinking! Why me? Why not Canada? Not enough self-confidence! Russia? Way too creepy, and anyway… you'll see him soon enough. Anyone else than me? Not awesome enough! It's a question genes, you hear me? My genes are just awesome like that!"

Feliciano processed Prussia's words while Lovino was standing behind him, cursing. The Prussian just continued rambling, and the Italians were just half-listening.

"Aw, Ita-chan, you look adorable in that dress! I wish you could wear one more often."

"Ve~, you said we would see Ivan?"

"Correct. Matthew too for that matter."

"How do you know all those things?"

"Hm? Do you listen to me sometimes? I'm awesome! But other than that…" The grin he had been wearing as a mask all the while grew and he gazed at the Italians with an odd cat-like eye.

"…The Cheshire Cat rules the Wonderland anarchy,

against the Queen's chaos his role is far from easy.

It seems a work of cards and odd,

it is in fact of fools and blood.

But in the end who cares, I'm awesome!

Besides I do it out of boredom.

This story leads the two Alices through dangerous doors.

Be now quite careful to discern ceiling from floors,

being two is new but could be deadly,

who knows, that Queen must want you dearly.

You'll soon regret of dreaming daily,

great dangers awaits in the unconscious mystery.

I know much things, my cute oblivious.

But should you trust me? I am a vicious.

Over there stands a house,

you might go see that sweet dormouse.

But that is not the main attraction,

some fools with mutual affection,

are spitting tea and soiling bread,

One even has hay on his head!

I know this doesn't sound appealing,

but surely there I would be hurrying.

But worry not, I shall be somewhere,

just like my brother we'll meet for sure there.

Go to the crocket game,

we'll be there though it's lame,

I'd like to see the King loose his wig,

and, oh my, did that kid turn into a pig?"

While saying these lines, Gilbert had been gradually disappearing, his last sentence pronounced with an only remaining grin. He then was gone, but the words danced in the Italians' minds, and the memory of a ghost grin spilling information haunted their eyes. Stumbling out of his peculiar trance, Feliciano looked at the direction Prussia had earlier indicated. '_Some fools with mutual affection are spitting tea and soiling bread?'_ Without a word, he tugged at his big brother's apron, who just nodded, and they set about following the path in the most loud silence they had ever known.

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**Voilà.**

**Huh. Greece must be my favorite character from Hetalia. I made a fanart of him half caterpillar actually, since it's vacation I'll scan it and post it at my deviant. I have to remember to post the link on my profile.**

**Uh, you probably want to know where the Parisian opinion came from. Yeah, so I live in Paris, and there's that big cliché that Parisian's are really irritable and scream all the time, and they seem to always be right and others wrong. Yeah; well those people exist, I can tell, I take the metro every morning sitting among these people. But usually they sulk, actually.**

**The song Ludwig is singing is _Alle Vögel sind schon da. _It's a German song for kids, my grandmother sung it for me when I was searching for a song. It's story about birds or something.**

**Hope you liked it :)  
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	4. Omake: When the Cat chases the Mouse

**1st Omake (will probably write 3), featuring some Austria x Prussia. Hmm, this is my first time writing this kind of thing, and it ended up in not being much... but I hope you'll like it.**

**I mainly wrote this omake because I'm the type who always wonders if the scenarios I have dreamt about have ever continued without me, probably with other people I might have encountered in the dream. But that, some persons will say, is impossible. I wouldn't know~**

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Omake 1:

When the Cat chases the Mouse

He had searched quite a deal of time before he finally found what he was looking for so thoroughly. Finding a residue was a tricky matter, even for his current self. Lurking in the bushes, he purred at the sight of his prey, tail waving to and fro at the thought of the confrontation. But, then again, he did not give a damn: he leaped into action.

"I have seized your vital regions!!"

"**Gilbert, let go of me at once!**"

A very loud noise took the already disturbed silence its place, after people screaming, one had people falling. However, commotion sooner or later let its place to diverse positions and roles.

Laying calmly on his prey, Gilbert looked down at Roderich.

"You make such a good mattress, specs."

"I'd rather that was not the case. When do you plan of getting off of me?"

Prussia did not answer and took Austria's glasses off. The anthro-mouse did not move. Putting them aside, the cat then played with his prey's hair, making a mess out of them for the greater good's claim. After a few minutes of simple entertainment, he leaned closer to kiss Roderich, more or less roughly, biting the other's lower lip till blood flowed out, then licking methodically the mark. The other tried to push Gilbert away, eventually succeeding at the Prussian's great annoyance.

"What is it now?"

He shot Roderich a dirty look, seeming rather displeased. His tail wagged brutally for that matter, and was slamming against the floor with audible sound.

"I should be the one asking that! What is it that your brain lack to have such needs to molest me in other people's dreams?!"

"Hm? I don't see the problem. I always molest you."

_He admits it._

Roderich was now propped on his elbows, the other still on top of him. As the Prussian had turned to a calmer state, Roderich was becoming more and more irritated, although also having an internal struggle as to how explaining his point of view. Something utterly pointless at any rate, knowing the other would just not care enough to even try to understand, though for some reason beyond comprehension, Roderich always had to attempt showing his point of view to Gilbert. At moments one would expect the less, it truly came in handy.

"That is not the point. It is their dream after all…"

"Their dream? That is correct."

"In that case, things shouldn't go further."

"How's that?"

For a few seconds, Gilbert seemed to seek extremely hard to see things through his prey's eyes. The Austrian said nothing, sighing and feeling somewhat pleased with the fact the other really did try. After a moment of consideration, the Prussian finally nodded and stared at Roderich, his grin widening, though his eyes betrayed confusion.

"I think I see what you're trying to pull out, specs. However… do you really think dreams need an owner to play themselves?"

"That's a requirement."

"Do you really think Wonderland stopped existing when Alice wondered off some other place? Did the tea party die? Did the court and the pies, the cards and the lies, suddenly disappear? When she woke up, you think that world vanished entirely just because that brat wasn't their to live it? Perhaps so. None has remained close enough to anything else to make us know for sure. But in this case by some peculiar blessing indeed, we have two Alices. One makes the story go round, one makes the story live on, each of them bearing sufficient material to make it so. If it weren't the case, you being part of the story being overrated for a while now, you would have by now vanished. Simply gone in astray doesn't count."

Roderich said nothing, or at least had no time to say anything more as the other pulled him into an impatient kiss. It was a long, somewhat soft kiss though it probably was not the intention of the one who had called fourth to it. Slowly, Roderich's elbows slipped and he found himself completely pinned to the ground by Gilbert's weight. Fingers entangled themselves in his extremely messy hair while another hand was maintaining his chin. His own were gripping tightly the Prussian's jacket. After a moment, Roderich opened slightly his eyes to see the other watching him intently, eyes a ruby red, shades of violent seeming to dance in the background color, around the slit cat-pupil he now had in the dream.

This matter reminded him firstly that he was, in the dream, a mouse, a cat's perfect prey. He would probably never be capable of admitting it, but he was far from disliking this fact.

It him reminded also that, secondly, this was undeniably a dream. But here issues and matters seemed as real as they could ever be, may the context change, may the people seem unbelievable, this dream was just another way of putting up with reality's consequences in a fancier way. Taking apart the crooked story, one ought to admit nothing much had change, then again… haven't people already claimed logic and dreams had all right to coexist but altered each other? Just giving this foolishness a thought made Roderich deeply question his sanity. Or perhaps the kiss was just making him dizzy.

_This is but a mere dream, when has one ever needed something as stupid as air in a foolish dream?_

When their lips finally parted, the Austrian whispered:

"I think you make a horrible Cheshire Cat."

"Eh? Why's that? I'm too awesome, is that it?"

"No. I just think it doesn't suit to know so many things. At all."

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***sighs* Yes, that, probably, was quite short. But longer doesn't always mean better, no? You'd think I would write faster during vacation, but all I do is slack off. I try to make efforts. I have a big load of homework too.  
**

**I must admit, at first I didn't choose Austria to be the mouse on purpose, but when I realized it, I immidiatly thought it was very convenient. If I hadn't realized it, this chapter would probably be some random conversation taking the big lines about dream and the theory of Wonderland I have wrote here between Prussia and Lithunania, but I find it more interesting this way.**

**Other omake chapters should feature France x England, Spain x Romano and x Germany, if nothing changes in the plan. I'll get better till then.  
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	5. Tanned Liquid on Dead Roses

**I'm so sorry for being late on this one. Sorry also for the fact it is shorter than the usual. Kinda messed up the order for the chapters I had planned, but meh. I've been so busy with school and all. But still I wanted to update, so I also wrote this morning, and finally finished. Hope you'll like it.**

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Chapter 4:

Tanned Liquid over Dead Roses

At the end of the road, the Italians found a peculiar house, with rabbit ears shaped chimneys and fur as its thatch. The house was extremely huge (it reminded Feliciano of Ludwig's), therefore they first started to undertake changing sizes again thanks to the pieces of mushroom they had kept.

Before going any further, little Italy stopped his brother, speaking the first word that had been spoken in quite a while. His word was no louder than a whisper and Lovino would not have heard it if a awkward silence had not been reigning the air.

"Nii-chan…"

"What is it?"

"You remember what Gilbert said, right?"

Romano blinked at this. Yes, he did recall very clearly everything that had occurred at that precise moment. Glancing at Feliciano, he could see the other was obviously troubled.

"He talked about two Alices going through dangerous doors, and a Queen that wanted them, and fools that-"

"Yes, I remember, make your point."

"Well, I've been thinking and… could it be that the two Alices are us? I mean… all that had happened in this dream has seemed an awful load familiar, and now I understand why. Could it be that this is the story of Alice in Wonderland?"

The older Italian considered it more longer than he needed to. Though it was somewhat necessary, for this was getting rather troublesome indeed.

"M-Maybe so… it's most likely, unfortunately. But from what I remember, everything hasn't been going exactly like in the tale."

"Yes, however it could be because we aren't Alice, and the other characters are not them. But we are them, just… not them." Feliciano struggled to explain, agitating his arms as he did so.

"W-well…"

"That means we're in danger?"

"How so?"

"I… I can't recall how the story ends… I can't recall much from the tale, but it's sometimes dangerous, ne?"

Lovino couldn't really remember much of it either. As they were debating, loud noises interrupted they conversation and the subject had immediately exhausted their attention span. The Italians went running, curious as ever, to know what the ruckus was all about. My, what a noisy place this was.

Under a tree stood a long table, and at this very table, the brothers recognized England, France and Canada having tea. The first had half of a hare, the second seeming oddly enough a mere human with a too large hat, and the last an anthro-dormouse. The previous two seemed to be arguing loudly, though Feliciano could not understand what they were saying, and the sleeping Canadian in the middle did not seem to mind at all. It seemed very surprising that one could sleep so soundly in so much noise. As the Italians came even closer to be noticed by England and France, they both turned and declared in chorus:

"No spare chairs! Be off!"

In the beginning, none of the Italians dared say anything, the need of having unnecessary problems was not present. However Lovino was not pleased with the sudden outburst, and his mood set on being truly pissed off when it had been on rather scared a few seconds ago.

"There's plenty of friggin' chairs, bastards!"

And so he pulled his younger brother to both sit down on the largest chair at the end of the table. It was quite big as there was plenty of room for the two of them, and it somewhat comforted them to sit so close to one another, since the Italians were unconsciously clinging to the other's sleeve.

Francis and Arthur seemed to have forgotten their earlier disagreement and were themselves sitting next to each other, in different chairs that is, though.

"Would you care for some tea?" England hastily asked, not merely out of politeness, but out of true interest in the drink.

"_Vraiment, mon cher,_ what kind of gentleman are you to suggest such a dreadfully disgusting drink!"

"Excuse me? You haven't even touched your cup, what is your knowledge of the matter? It **is** the best tea, you know."

"All **I** know is that if this tea is as good as your cooking, I'd rather not taste it."

"And I'm not a gentleman?!"

"Quite far from it, _mon cher_, you're a rabbit!"

"I, you see, happen to be a hare, twat."

"Talking about hair, you have hay entangled in it."

Francis' face twitched in disgust, whilst Arthur looked like he was about to slap him. He was blushing furiously, unable to deny the fact France had stated.

It seemed the two weren't paying attention to the Italians anymore. The previous were clinging to each other on the large chair, one quite worried, one staring at Canada, waiting for movement. If it weren't for the fact he was slightly moving from the breathing motion, to the world he was more dead than just sleeping. He somewhat seemed a tad transparent, also. Wondering how the Canadian dormouse managed to doze off in such a mess, with Arthur throwing plates at Francis, and Francis shielding himself with his chair, while cursing and teasing the other in French, Feliciano grabbed a piece of bread and set about crumbling it, throwing the small crumbles at Matthew in an attempt to wake him up, with the hope he might be able to handle the situation.

Eventually, one of Canada's eyes cracked open as he slipped out of slumber.

"Hmmm? What's going on?" He mumbled.

He seemed painfully unconcerned by the violent argument his two friends were having. As he was about to doze off again, Feli tried whispering as loudly as possible to catch the other's attention.

"Pssst! Matthew! Wake up!"

"A-ah? Oh, it's you…"

"Ne, ne, can you make Francis and Arthur stop trying to kill each other? It's scary!"

"What? Why would I do that?"

"E-err… because you're a nice person?"

"…No, I won't do it. At least they leave me out of it like this. One would think I hate being forgotten all the time, but with those two, I'd rather be invisible. They might try to drown me in a teapot for all that I know."

At the younger Italian's great dismay, it seemed final. Canada went to sleep once more, an irritated expression still on his face as he did so, though it soon disappeared. Feliciano blinked. This was really not the reaction he had been hoping for, and even if he could have considered the other might refuse, he had had no idea it would be for such motives. Then again, vey few people seemed to know Matthew too well, and this for many reasons as he never opened up so much and even if he did, everybody always forgot him or confused him with his brother, America. Northern Italy had indeed heard they were more alike in personality than one would suspect. Or was that it he had heard? He couldn't think too well with the sound of smashing plates and cussing.

Turning round to ask advice from his older brother (this fact proving little Italy was quite desperate) he realized Lovino had got up from the chair and was now arguing with Francis and Arthur, his voice getting higher and higher as he was yelling.

"You fucking wine bastard, are you threatening me?!"

"_Oui_, it would seem so!"

"How is menacing him to make me cook tomatoes a bloody threat?!"

"It would be a real murder, _mon cher_, Lovino could only take it badly."

At this point his brother was more shrieking than shouting which made them all wince at different degrees. Even Matthew dared to open his eyes at this. Oh, so the noise was a question of habit and this one was new to the Canadian. He started shivering and covered his ears looking at Feliciano, his look begging him to _please, for God's sake_ go away. At this little Italy grabbed his brother, trying to contain his struggle, and set about running just in time to dodge the boiling tea the British hare had thrown at the French hatter, missing him.

Suddenly, without understand his action, Romano seized a teapot on the way and clutched to it to not spill its contents. The last thing he ever saw of the tea party was France and England both siding and taking their revenge upon the now awake Canada. Perhaps by forcing him to drink tons of black tea he would pass away from internal drowning.

xXx

The Italians had walked aimlessly since then, also feeling quite down. Everything in this world was oppressing, noisy, aggressive, confusing, and all these emotions seemed too much to handle for just one mere location. None of them knew how to feel about it all. Feliciano sighed and started blabbering.

"I want to see Ludwig again… I miss him so much… He would know what to do… He would-"

"Shut it! Don't talk about that potato freak!" Lovino retorted violently.

Not only he detested the German, but Feli's words made him miss Antonio. Spain was probably the only person he would really want to see, yet he seemed the only one who **wasn't.** Romano's heart tightened, and he clutched tighter to the teapot, as if to contain a wound.

"Nii-chan!"

Lovi looked up to see what was the matter. Seeing his brother smile to no end was not what he had expected, therefore he became even more curious of finding out. He looked round and- _Ah… This is…_

Indeed they had finally reached the beautiful garden they had seen so long ago. It was wonderful, shining, it's flowers as the many stars in a night's sky. Roses. Little did they know that the fact these were roses would be such a catastrophe.

Next thing Lovino knew, his brother had wandered off while he was not paying attention. It somewhat didn't matter. He somewhat didn't feel nor angry nor worried for his younger brother. He would manage, since he always did in the end, since each time Romano ran to attempt to save him it seemed the other never needed it anyway. That so lucky brother of his might even find the one he was longing for earlier, so why bother?

No, Lovino didn't feel right at all. He slowly loosened his grip on the teapot, taking it in his hands, wondering what the object had that had seemed so special. This, the Italian quickly understood. The teapot was prettily decorated, the patterns none other than appealing red tomatoes. _This is the most stupid teapot! _he thought, still now he knew he would not let go before finding the true object that shall comfort him. With this, for Romano, the Spaniard was definitely there, somewhere, and all he had to do was find him.

He might've found the cat on his way,

Who swiftly pointed the road that he may,

Stumbling upon the French mad hatter,

Giving the teapot for the matter,

Who could not say so?

There are a Trio.

And now it was Lovino who had this,

Slowly pouring the tea as a kiss,

On a dead rose that had not shown through,

Perhaps it was longing for love too?

Eager eyes watched it shine in brown,

The liquid made it beautiful still down,

The sour turned in sweet,

It was now good to eat,

But before the tip of the fingers could reach,

One could hear three words spoken for each.

* * *

**Voilà~**

**I remember at first Antonio was not going to be included, but then I figured how cruel that would be. I love the guy also, so I didn't understand why.**

**The tea party might seem short or rushed... worry not, the next omake chapter will be for Francis and Arthur.**

**Huh... don't think I have much to say about this.**

**Well then, I'm off to school, wouldn't want to be late T^T With this done I can finally start reading _Les misérables_ by Victor Hugo, yay!  
**


	6. Omake: A Trade in Silver wear

**Second omake featuring some FrUk. Damn, I felt so inspired by this couple, I wrote the chapter more quicly than the usual. Or was it because I was writing in class? (School was boring today anyway, and I have good grades =D). For a while I was kind of stuck for the Chapter 4 and this one because of a writer's block, but it seems it's all gone now! I'm glad...**

**Hope you'll enjoy. I'm still not used to write this kind of stuff n_n"**

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Omake 2 :

A Trade in Silver wear

After desperately dodging plates and tea, Francis had successfully approached Arthur to grab his wrists, making sure no threatening object would be thrown. Soft blue eyes stared down at fierce green ones.

"What?!" The English anthro-hare spat.

"You look quite beautiful, as usual, yet…" He trailed off, brushing some hay off the other's head with his free hand. "Perfect."

He smiled then, his smile somewhat vicious. Arthur's hard glare was inevitably followed by a furious blush. His whole expression and body language was screaming _I hate you!_ at the Frenchman, but this one could not help but smile at him fondly. Not that he actually liked the smug bastard anyway, but…

It seemed Arthur was about to say something harsh after internally fiddling with words, however he had no time to do so.

The tea party's existence melted slowly, like paint flowing off a blank wall, leaving its place to what it had earlier been, as time jammed for the umpteenth time. Then it was the same as a tape being rewound. Next thing the tea party hosts knew, things were as an hour ago. There was no more trace of the Italians' passage, Canada was merely sleeping and had no sign of having passed away due to tea overdose, roughly ingested I must add, though he would remember it if he ever woke up - England was sitting a cup of tea in his hand, half way in the gesture of sipping, while France was staying put, legs crossed under the table, seeming thoughtful, arms crossed as well.

"…Again?" Arthur stated.

"_Oui_, it seems it happens every hour, to be exact." The French hatter continued to stare blankly in front of him, still in deep thought.

"Trapped at four o'clock forever. A British man would not mind, yet in this world, as British I can be, I'm no more than half of a man."

"**It's plain annoying**, you mean. May I be a man, there's no difference."

"That's because you're French!" Arthur spat it as if the simple meaning was an insult. "Though I must admit… this is troublesome."

Indeed, it had been since the instant they found themselves in this peculiar world, it all begun this way. The location's time lapsed from four o'clock to five, then it started all over gain in the same way, it's content the only difference with the memories it left.

Eventually, Arthur broke the silence.

"I'm out of tea." He glance at the other expectedly, though Francis only shifted slightly.

"It seems one of the teapots is missing."

"Yes, certainly." The English hare stated after checking. "Wasn't it the one _he_ had left?"

"I'm afraid it was unavoidable."

"…Could you be ever so kind and hand over one of the full teapots?"

At that very sentence France abruptly turned his head to face England, making his oversized hat nearly fall.

"_Je veux couteaux, fourchettes et cuillères."_

"I beg your pardon?!"

"_Dieu_, Arthur, are you getting old. Is it your memory that is fading or are you deaf? I asked for knives, forks and spoons."

"I bloody understood what you said - to my great regret that is - you git! But what's this with the ridiculous demand?"

"The transaction."

Arthur posed for a bit, wondering if it was really what the other was demanding.

"…You want to trade tea for silver wear?"

"**Your** silver wear, _mon cher_."

England was speechless at first, utterly confused. Then again, when did he ever understand the frog? He resigned, grabbing the knives, spoons and forks set for the seat next to him. Unfortunately, France swiftly stopped him.

"_Non, non, Angleterre, _I want the silver wear **you** used."

"But…" Surely he wasn't serious.

"Do you actually want that tea so much?"

The French mad hatter had said this as a threat, and England did not other than take it as one, completely. He hastily handed over the silver wear he had used (as for that, they both knew he had used it, though none of them could recall it exactly), snatching the teapot's handle he was given afterwards. Absolutely puzzling, this was absolutely puzzling. Pouring himself some tea, then sipping it quietly, he pondered upon the matter till finally realizing. If he had felt irritated over Francis' little game, he was now infuriated. The English hare turned to glare at the France, who, fork in mouth, confirmed Arthur's fear.

_Furthermore the fucking frog has the most innocent and surprised look in the entire world._

"Oh, very subtle." He spat.

Francis winked, grinning.

"It tastes just like you."

Arthur blushed furiously, for the second or third time, Francis wasn't sure, but did he feel delighted about it. So many moments like this very instant, although tremendously rare, made him almost forget he hated England. A tad more and he might forget that fact completely. That blush fit him so well.

"Give it back you brainless pervert!!"

"Then give me back the tea you swallowed!"

"That's impossible!!"

"Then same here!"

To weight his argument, France ran his tongue on the shiny silver fork, saliva making it gleam. Though the motion of the tongue was obsessing, Arthur couldn't take his eyes off Francis' beautiful, hypnotizing, blue eyes. And England definitely did **not** just think that.

Words were pointless at that point, as a result eyes communicated for their owners. Arthur certainly did not enjoy what he could read in the French's, and was very afraid of what the previous could read in his. Denial here is a very interesting fact, which often drives one apart what he really wants deep down but is too ashamed to admit. Unluckily, denial frequently makes one hidden desire quite more obvious. Was it just a teasing dialogue and a teasing French pervert, trying to reach the heart of an aggressive English pervert in the closet. Uncertainty was heavy as one knew what he wanted and the other didn't know what to believe inside of him.

Then Francis got up in a swift motion and grabbed Arthur by the collar, the situation resembling what might have been in another time line.

"Now, where were we before?" He said softly, his gaze not having detached a single second from the other's.

Arthur didn't answer. He didn't have the time. And even if he ever did, he simply would have nothing to say, at lost for words and insults. Yet Francis knew better and had immediately pulled him into a gentle kiss, which hardened fast enough when both of them were a little bit more at ease. A moan escaped Arthur's throat and he could feel the Frenchman grinning against his lips.

But then existence melted once more, as time jammed for the umpteenth time plus one. England was sitting a cup of tea in his hand, half way in the gesture of sipping, while France was staying put, legs crossed under the table, seeming thoughtful, arms crossed as well. They turned at each other at the same time, one's scowl deep, the other's grin wide.

"Would you care to start from when we were interrupted, _Angleterre?_"

"Shut up." Arthur said, not objecting however when the other stood up to come more closely as earlier. "You'll pay for this…"

Francis glanced at Arthur interrogatively, when England grabbed his collar and started kissing him hard. Parting slightly for a second, he added:

"…In another time line."

* * *

**Hope everything was understandable.**

**Okay, so I'd like to say a special thanks to XbehindtheseaX (Lissa) for suggesting me to put this fanfic in the regular stories (it was in the crossover stories at first.)**

**Second special thanks would be for KuroiWing who has been reviewing since the very first chapter, which I really appreciate.**

**Gah, you people make me so happy.**

***yawns* I'm so tired. Oh well, hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next one should be... interesting to write.  
**


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